Epileptic Triggers

Wow, been a long while, hasn’t it? Way to many things to say  to explain, so we’ll just leave it at : It’s complicated. Now, LET’S MOVE ON!

I’m scheduled to give a workshop next week. My first workshop ever. Not going to, but delivering. Speaking is a pretty easy thing for me. I did it competitively in middle school and high school. I competed in debate in university. So, I’m kind of excited about it. I’m scheduled for a day and a half (it’s a long workshop with lots of presentations, but I still think of that as a reeeeeaaaally long bit. I wonder if I’m being used as a time filler), so it’s important to keep everything organized.

In that spirit, as well as the fact that I need handouts and a powerpoint, etc, projects like this lead to a lot of outlines (for me, maybe others do it differently). And making outlines? An epileptic trigger. Isn’t that weird?

I first noticed this style of trigger, which I call a detail-work trigger, a few years ago when I was designing invitations. Fitting in words and pictures, making them look correct and sit correctly on the screen is a real pain in the ass for me. I’m not a type A person, but sometimes design software will get to a point where it will let you drag HERE or THERE or not the spot in-between which is where you actually need it! That close work gives me myoclonic jerks.

The same thing happens with bullet pointing type outlining. Need I->1->a->i sort of bullets, want it where you don’t page jump in the middle of a point, etc. Suddenly my hands are going all over the place and my eyes are getting blurry and I’m missing seconds of time where I just stop.

This is something I have to be really careful about. Like actually showing up for work, outlining and detail projects are sometimes necessary for work. It’s easy to just think about work and disabilities like a wheel chair or not having arms as the sort of handicaps to consider when talking about on-the-job struggles. They’re not. There are lots of little issues that might arise. I’m glad, once more, to be somewhere that when I have these little moments, I’m free to get up and walk around. Pause. Get my barring.

Without getting fired.

People need breaks, is the point I’m trying to make here!

(Additional Information in response to a comment made by epilepsymeandneurology)

In a “the more you know” sense:

http://www.epilepsyfoundation.org/aboutepilepsy/Diagnosis/seizureprovokingtriggers.cfm

This would fit under “complex action” I believe. I also get the math twitchies (which I will now call “internal mental process” reactions, as that sounds more mature).

Interesting that they fit under reflex like photosensitive. My EEGs don’t show photo sensitivity as a trigger. Or they didn’t two years ago. Kindling might have altered my pathways.

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12 thoughts on “Epileptic Triggers

  1. good to see your back! this type of seizure might come under pattern / high/ low contrast you could try looking under those search terms?

  2. I find I can’t concentrate on a keyboard for long it makes me become vacant? I will type the wrong letter multiple times even though I carefully look for the correct key? I’m not sure if it is the keys or the proximity of the monitor? This Epilepsy thing is weird or is it just me? 😀

    1. Well, yes, the fits are always going to be worse than the triggers, but for me — since I have fully unconscious episodes, I find the initial responses to my triggers to be the most frightening. When an actual grand mal seizure happens, I don’t remember them as anything more than sore muscles and a bruised face.

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