An Interestingly boring day and vow to myself

Traffic in Thailand is weird in that accidents happen a lot, but it doesn’t seem to change anyone’s driving habits. I’ve mentioned before, but if you’ve ever seen a car chase that involved a motorbike (and I specifically suggest Bourne Ultimatum), the traffic movement in those scenes is not as fantastical as you might at first suspect.

I went to the work permit office with a friend, today. On the way there (in a car), we were making a left on red (the eqiv of an American “right on red”) when a motorbike slammed (hit is maybe the better word) into the right (driver’s side) of the car on the driver’s door section of the car. They make various hand gestures and zoom off. We figure that they’re probably not seriously injured if they’re just going, and the bike obviously works.

We pull over and check the car, no obvious problems. We continue to the work permit office.

Work Permit Intermission 

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After that, we go shopping (new bed coverings!!! and popcorn! and dish soap…), then return to work. After work I get a call from the friend. Apparently there’s a huge freaking dent on the car that we somehow missed. I have no idea how we missed this dent, but it’s there, so we had to have missed it.

This leads me to a quick story about the human mind: In college, my boyfriend and I were both very poor. This meant we lived with our parents, which made … uh … certain things … uh… complicated.

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One week, his parents are on a trip, and we decide we’re going to have a private party of sorts. Then he gets called into work, he leaves a key so I can get in and wait for him to get off. Cool. I go in and play video games on his computer (in an office). I get a text saying that he left his wallet and that it might be in his room. I go, I check the room, I check every room, I check his room again, I text him and say I didn’t see it.

He texts me and tells me to check the room again, surely it’s there.

And he’s on the bed. And he was the whole time. I went in that room, looked around, and did not see him at all because I did not expect him to be there. There are other examples of this happening to me, and to a certain extent it happens to everyone (how many times have you “lost” your keys only to have them turn up in the first place you looked?). It’s amazing how crazy the brain can be with expectation and belief.

I’m trying to keep that up more with my epilepsy. I’ve realized that lately I’ve been thinking and speaking of my epilepsy in a negative way, and only more and more so as this year has gone on. I’ve been telling myself that I’m being practical — I’m no unicorns and rainbows optimist — but my practicality is bordering on emotionally self-harming pessimism. I need to stop that.

Epilepsy is a brain disorder. I need to remember that if perception can be influenced so easily, the eyes commanded by belief, that I should also be able to shift perception inside the brain itself. Not completely, I’m not an idiot, but the placebo effect does exist. And I need to start making use of it.

(Edit: Bourne Legacy not Ultimatum.)

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