Random Movie Review: Girls, Guns, and Gambling

General:

Very much a silly movie. A joke at wannabe artsy heist/western type movies. Involves lots of narration, bold scene changes, some time jumping (in the narration, not the Back to the Future sense), and titles. Lots of titles. Also there are a lot of racist jokes about racism. Very odd.

Actors

This movie … I don’t even know where to start.

Okay. We’ll start with the fact that it stars Christian Slater. I’m a little young to have crushed on him when HE was a teen, but when I was a teen I found Gleaming the Cube, a movie about a skateboarding kid (there’s plot to this, but the only really thing I cared about was “cute boy rides skateboard”, not unusual for a 13 year old girl, I think). From that point on, I willingly watch Christian Slater movies, even if they’re bad. (They’re usually bad.)

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I’m not sure I am legally allowed to call him cute anymore.

This movie also has Gary Oldmam in it as Elvis Elvis, so … yeah. Love him too. (Plus, though less importantly, Powers Booth, Megan Park, Dane Cook, Tony Cox, and others.)

Story:

Basically this dude named John Smith, down on his luck, going to a casino at an Indian Reservation. He loses money at slots, joins an Elvis impersonator contest, loses, but then plays cards with the 4 other Elvis impersonators (Asian Elvis, Gay Elvis, Little-Person Elvis, and Elvis Elvis). During the game a mask is mentioned, owned by The Chief.

He passes out, wakes up, finds the other Elvises have disappeared. Smith gets taken into an in-house interrogation because they think he stole the mask. Eventually he’s being hunted by The Cowboy, The Indian, The Rancher, The Chief, The Sherrifs (yes, plural, one is bought by the Rancher, the other by the Chief) and The Blond an assassin (who quotes Poe). Smith gets some help from The Girl Next Door, and a prostitute .

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Gary Oldman and Christian Slater pale behind Tits. I mean Helena Mattsson.

All-in-All

I’m not sure why this movie exists, but I’m glad that it does. It’s a whole lot of ridiculous bullshit, and I love it.

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