Random Movie Review: Turbo

I really like this movie.

It has a really impressive vocal cast.

Beyond being adorable, which is one of the primary jobs of any animated feature, even the scarier ones

Adorable. Terrifying. Catchy Music. …D…Disney? Nope. French.

Being that Snoop Dogg is in this film-

Drop it like it’s hot, bitches.

– the music is catchy and fun. I mean, I have no idea if the musician/voice actor is the reason behind this, but both of these things are true. That Snoop Dogg is in it, and the music is good. Some of the music is Snoop’s (…I keep saying Dogg, because that’s what he was at the time. I know he went Lion, but I think I read he’s back on Dogg? Forgive me if I’ve making a mistake here…I’m too lazy to google this fact) so he is responsible for some of the music being good.

In the same type of relationship as Snoop=Good Music, it follows that Samuel L. Jackson=BadAssAwesome

Motherfucking Snails.

Now, it’s late, and I’m tired, so this won’t be as detailed a review as maybe it should be, but here goes.


No problem. Turbo and his trail glow blue, but it’s smooth, not flickering, so I don’t think it would be much of an issue even for someone very photosensitive.


This is a movie about a snail, Theo, who wants to be fast but is a snail. He magically gains the power to be NOS powered, becoming super snail, Turbo. Turbo joins up with Tito, the younger bro of Dos Bros Tacos.

Angelo is the older, shorter Bro.

They, and their neighbors who are also running local businesses (nail shops, mechanics, etc) band together to get Turbo recognized to race in the Indy 500. There’s also a shitty champion guy who is a dick to the snail-race car because

  1. You have to have a villain.
  2. People are assholes to snails?
  3. People are assholes period, and someone WOULD probably treat a snail competitor like shit.

Turbo races. Turbo faces a crisis of magical loss, but learns to overcome it by embracing what he is, a snail. Also:


Turbo wins a professional race-car competition. Race-car race? Just “wins a professional race” sounds weird, but that’s probably the rightest one, right? Sheesh, you’d think I didn’t grow up watching NASCAR (I did).


It looks like a Dreamworks movie. Visuals are good, the characters look a bit like shiny/matte (yes, it can be done) dough. Even the scrawny ones.

(Voice) Actors

I don’t know why I’m ever impressed by A-List voice actors. I guess it makes me a little sad for the professional voice actors, who don’t occasionally star in big-budget Marvel movies (I’m looking at you Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson … and possibly a few others, but those are the two who came to mind first) or are Ken Jeong (he’s in like … everything now, right? Or am I just hallucinating him?).

Anyway, this cast has a big A-List and almost A-list credit roll.


They do a really good job. …yeah. I think that’s all I have to say there? Yeah. Okay. (I am really tired…)

Interesting to note

Um, Ken Jeong plays a tiny old lady who works at (owns?) a nail salon. I’m not sure I’m going anywhere with this, but it is a verifiable fact. I’m not sure if I can give him credit for stretching his acting ability, since he plays a CRAZY tiny old lady who works at (owns?) a nail salon. And I automatically assume that anything crazy is right up Ken’s alley, and needs virtually no acting.

Do I need to point out which one?

Those tricked out shell covers would make any Fast and Furious junkie jealous.


I very much enjoyed it. Very sweet.


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