So today is the last day of my 20s. Tomorrow I turn 30. I had my first grand mal seizure on my 15th birthday. It’s a big year for me. I haven’t had a seizure since January 10th. That’s close to six months and the longest break I’ve had in… a long, long time. I can’t remember how long.
As long as nothing goes wrong tonight, of course.
I haven’t been blogging a lot lately because I’ve been reading and writing on other things. Trying to wrap my head around … well, myself. This is, I believe, an important year. I don’t think it will change me in any noticeable way. I don’t look particularly older (in fact, I’ve somehow come up with some odd hormonal thing and gotten acne, so I might as well be 13 not 30 – change in diet and environment have done nothing, so I assume hormonal), and I don’t feel particularly older, but I’ve been waiting for this year to come. Each 2nd of July, waiting for that year that will bring me over the edge of less than half my life spent with epilepsy to more than half my life spent with epilepsy.
I know, I know. Lots of people do that whole “don’t define yourself by….” etc etc. And that’s fine. What works for them, works for them. But I’m big on describing myself, and my epilepsy is part of what makes me, me (as I’ve stated more than once before). So this birthday is an important birthday. This July 2nd is an important July 2nd.
I have a tradition, which I’ve followed since I was very very young (read: ten) to stay up until 3:00 AM and look at myself in the mirror, because that’s what time I was born. Granted, this might be part of what got me in trouble when I was fifteen, what with the sleep deprecation, the party, and all that… hahaha… but it’s an old tradition for me, and here in Thailand, it’ll be 3 PM, so I’ll be safe. I’m really looking forward to it.
I can hardly wait to look that woman in the eyes and congratulate her on making it this far. To wish her luck for the next fifteen. The next thirty. (And to remind her to set up an appointment with that skin doctor her friend recommended, it’s one thing to look “youthful”…)
Happy July, everyone!