Because I’m not an ass.
Easy answer: I really enjoyed it!
More complicated answer: the usual breakdown
General: Buncha folks fightin’ for good against a buncha folks fightin’ for bad. Some old friends show up to help the primary cast of new characters in all-new set(ting)s.
Epilepsy: This one is touchy, one of the first images is of a flickeringly lit small room filled with stormtroopers. The image has been seen in the trailer, but on a big screen, in the dark, it’s more powerful.
There’s also, as seen in the trailer, interplay between the red and blue lightsabers. Obviously I went in expecting this, and obviously I was epileptic when the last two films came out… but I will say the intensity of the lightsabers in this film feel stronger than in the others. Perhaps because the scenes themselves feel more intense?
Cast: A+ across the board. I’m afraid to go too much into this and give too much away, but yeah. There was real chemistry between characters (and I’m not talking like romantic stuff, I’m talking just you can feel they enjoyed being together, or didn’t as the case may be).
Rey kicks ass. Finn is a great heart of the movie. BB-8 isn’t annoying, and boy could she have been! Poe is a really amazing pilot. Like super amazing. Kylo Ren has anger management issues likely rooted in some deep seeded feelings of a lack of self worth or something. The Vader cosplay is a little obvy.
Visuals: On point, for the most part. I’m not fond of the design choice made for the Big Bad, but that’s a personal one, I guess. Other than that, all the other visuals were solid. They felt rooted in the originals, in that world (and in that technology) but updated so that they worked with modern cinematic potential.
It was a beautiful film to watch. My biggest gripe would be that the movie didn’t slow down and take time to linger on what it had. The scope of those places was fantastic. The detail in those sets. Linger on that and let us get a real glimpse of the work that went into it… but they went hard to plot. Which I don’t hate, but it was just so pretty, I would have liked to see more.
Interesting to Note: I WAS RIGHT, BITCHES!!! HAHAHAHAHA
(I mean, kinda. Maybe. Maaaaybe. Pretty much. WHATEVER!)
All-in-All: I’m seeing it again this weekend with a new friend. I saw it this time alone in a 40 seat theatre, which is a good way to have a great experience just watching the film, but it’s me and my head. Next time I’ll talk it out with a friend and see how much damage we can do to it…
But man, I really love Finn and Rey. And Finn and Poe. They’re freaking great.